Today I spent some time doing the Isaac Asimov Super Quiz. I am always really good at these, and by always I mean never except when the topic is “Pop Culture” or “Celebrities.” I am also really good at ones involving parts of the human body, especially medical terminology. This should comfort anyone I work with who thinks I may be mentally disabled. This may still be true, but please note that sometimes radiologists ask me how to spell medical words. Just saying.
Anyway, today I did especially badly at the Isaac Asimov Super Quiz. Sadly, the category I did the worst at was “Literature.” I consider myself to be a decently-read individual and have always loved reading. Also, I watch Jeopardy! a lot. So I probably should have known the narrator’s name in Lolita, even though I never read the book, and also, I should probably read the book. And I should have been able to remember the name of the main character in The Great Gatsby. It is Jay. Instead, when I came to that question the only thing I could think of was the episode of King of Queens where Doug asked Carrie if she had found out how the Great Gatsby became a magician, because what the hell else could he be? Note to self: Unplug TV. Plug in time machine and repeat 10th – 12th grades and read all the pieces of literature you were assigned to but never did.
I also sucked at the history quiz, which is interesting because I like history. The first question asked which president was assassinated in 1901. If you’re wondering, it was William McKinley. I thought Lincoln and JFK were the only presidents to be assassinated, so maybe I should repeat the sixth through twelfth grades.
Oddly enough, I did the best at the science quiz. Science is not exactly my forte and I often find myself asking questions about how things work that apparently are really obvious to anyone else over the age of ten. Lucky for me, a few of the questions were about medical terminology and I made a lucky guess on a question about what color malachite is – it’s green. It’s a good thing it didn’t ask what malachite is, because I still don’t know. So from now on, anything I see that is green I will refer to as “malachite” just to be on the safe side.
The one question I missed on the science quiz was What kind of “tables” were invented by John Napier? I went out on a limb here and came up with multiplication tables, and then was quite proud of myself because that must be right! What other kind of “tables” are there? I forgot about the well-known logarithm tables, so of course I was wrong. And, since we’re being honest, I’m going to tell you I don’t know what a logarithm is, but I do know I’ve heard the word before, probably when I had to e-mail my mom to ask how to find percentages. Yes, I am that helpless and stupid that I have to call my mommy to tell me how to do one of the most simple math procedures. On second thought, I should probably just repeat all of school from first grade on.
Mom, Dad, sorry the public school system failed me. Or, that I failed it.
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2 comments:
Maybe you should never go on the show "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?". I know I shouldn't.
My college instructor used the word "logarithm" a lot to tell us how vector graphics were made. She didn't know what it meant, either, but she sure liked saying it.
McKinley was the one who was shot but didn't die for like a couple weeks, right? And while Jay Gatsby may not have been a magician, Napier was! :)
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