Project Runway Episode 2 Recap

I was concerned at the beginning of the episode because I couldn't remember anyone's names - except, of course, for Blayne, Stella, and Suede. As we got rolling I started to remember people, but I also started to remember that I was not really thrilled with any of these designers.

The challenge was making cocktail dresses for the models. "Very original," I thought. In fact, in my notes I wrote, Making a cocktail dress for a model! How exciting and original! Blah. Only if they're making cocktail dresses out of used condoms. But there was a Project Runway twist - the designers would have to use "green" fabrics, and the models would be doing the shopping.

As you would expect, the models were totally clueless about fabric shopping. You would think women who wear clothes for a living would have an idea, at least, of how much fabric to buy. Or what fabrics make good cocktail dresses. Or what colors look good together. Three models bought the same hideous brown satin (we will come back to this). When they got back to Parsons - surprise! - all the designers hated all the fabrics.

Stella's model wanted something flowy and sophisticated - something Rami would have designed last season. Stella has her own style, which she calls "very urban" (read: terrifying). She decided to design something in her own style. This, I thought, was a recipe for disaster. She would say later in the episode that she just wants to sew leather. If that's the case, why go on Project Runway, crazy leather sewer? Start a show called Project Leather. I don't care, just get freaking eliminated already.

Blayne referred to Heidi Klum as Darth Vader and said she was "Darthalicious."

Leanne called Suede out for talking in the third person: "Suede likes to talk in the third person. Leanne likes Suede, but Suede needs to stop talking in the third person." America's thoughts exactly, Leanne.

I loved Terri's dress. Her model came out second and I thought for sure she was going to win. I also loved Jennifer's, Kenley's and - this was a shock - Blayne's. The others were kind of blah for me, except for Suede's, which I thought belonged on a cracked out ballerina. In the weirdest twist of runway events for me, Suede's cracked out ballerina dress ended up winning, even though Kenley's super gorgeous, super elegant, couture cocktail dress clearly deserved to win and be sold on Bluefly.com and praised by Natalie Portman. I am still upset about this. Then Suede said, "Suede fucking rocked this," or something along those lines, and then H threw her TV out the window.

None of the brown satin dresses fared very well. Leanne has ADD and made about five dresses in one, and Joe's was boring - I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it because really, there is not a lot to love about ugly brown satin. The boring Wesley with his very ill-fitting brown satin dress got sent home, and the crying Kortu got to stay. I hope Kortu is not this season's Ricky (aka The Crier). We don't need a crier, especially since my Project Runway buddy is now pregnant and we can't play the Crying Game, where you drink every time Ricky, or in this case Kortu, cries.

Next week they're going on a field trip wearing rain ponchos.

I am warming to some of the designers' aesthetics, especially Kenley's, but not really loving anyone's personalities. I am still holding out hope that this will change.